Not the kind of laughter you make when someone cracks a funny joke.
Not the kind of laughter you make when you see someone trip.
Not the kind of laughter you make when you make a stupid mistake.
Not the kind of laughter you make when sarcasm or irony strikes.
Not the kind of laughter you make when you just want to because you can.
But the kind of laughter you make when you're just in an extremely ridiculous situation.
Tonight, my dad packed up his belongings and left. "...for good." as he said when he left through the door. There was nothing but silence when he went through his stuff to make sure he got all that he needed. The place was a mess. Shit thrown everywhere. A broken cup. A shoe with a broken heel. (Please don't ask why).
Schizophrenia and Paranoid Personality Disorder is just not a good combo. Proof? Parentals.
Yup.
It's difficult to mediate between these two. REALLY difficult. Every time I'd intervene and end up with a huge frown slapped onto my face. But today was something different. I don't know what it was, but it just... was.
Riding with my mom to Souplantation ended the same as usual = me walking home. I walk for an hour, I call dad to pick me up. On the way home, my dad lashes out all his anger onto me. We park in our garage. I leave home for 30 minutes then come back. Dad comes home and the yelling commences. Packs and leaves.
What was I doing the whole time?
Laughing. Really hard. To the point of tears.
Not the kind when you're sad.
Not the kind when you see something beautiful or inspirational.
Not the kind when something gets in your eye.
But the kind when you just... well, laugh really hard.
The whole situation was just really ridiculous.
It was somewhat inappropriate that I laughed, but it just happened so spontaneously.
It felt so liberating that I took the whole situation so well. It did take me awhile to wonder what it was that caused me to laugh, though. I still don't know, and I probably won't ever.
As for my parents, it's all just a bad case of miscommunication. My parents can't seem to communicate and whenever I talk to them, they always assume that I'm taking the opposite side. I'm just trying to show them a different perspective mannnz!
But seriously... they're not really going to file for divorce. I don't think they are. This is rather common for my family.. unfortunately. They're polar opposites.. but isn't that what makes electrons attracted to protons? Negatives and positives attract. Funny how that works. But yeah, I wouldn't say I'm worried. Everything does fall back into place, and if a divorce is what my parents decide to do, then hey, maybe it will be the best decision they ever made. I may not be happy with this decision, but a thing I've learned about life is that you need to sacrifice your happiness for the happiness of others... and in a way, it all comes back to you. (Karma?!)
But overall, my spontaneous laughter tonight got me closer to knowing who I am. It felt great.
You guys should try it out sometime. When you're ever in a situation where you're royally fucked or what not.... just fuckin' laugh it out. It's very liberating. =]
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