Do you really think you know who I am?

I feel like I'm being misunderstood. Whatever I do, a lot of people misinterpret what I do to be something totally opposite.

I'm just going to get some things straight. Unfortunately, though, not many people read my blog anyways, so much of this is going to be a buncha ranting.

People think I have this issue with narcissism, and I would have to agree that I do like attention, but I don't seek attention for only my own benefits. I love socializing, partying, doing crazy things, and entertaining other people. That's who I am. It's my personality. I do it for the benefits of others.

There was a couple of people who I thought I'd like to talk to during Nutrition at school. Right when I come up to them, one of them asks me "How much attention do you need?" Attention..? I only went up to you to talk and ask what's up. Would you rather see me sitting all alone looking confused and sad? Also, if you don't have anything nice to say, rather just keep that shit locked in your mouth.

But I'm glad she let it out. That definitely opened my eyes. I began to wonder if any other of my friends thought similar. As I began to take into account how people respond to me, I feel like more and more people are becoming annoyed by me. I feel like I don't have their trust either. I may be a loud mouth (volume-wise), but I keep private shit private. But trust me, you can trust me (hahah). I love listening to people and giving them advice. It's one of the main reasons why I thought about becoming a psychologist.

I also have the reputation of being the photographer. People are completely shocked when I don't bring a camera to an event, and I don't take that as a compliment. Photography/Film is my passion. Sure it doesn't sound that bad when reading this, but when you just hear their tones, you know it's not meant as a joke. I have stopped my habit of taking unflattering pictures of people. You only have one fucking chance at life. I'm going to make sure I'm going to live the best out of it, and capture every happy moment I have of it, because in the end, you'll become nostalgic of the great memories you had when you were young.

I'm not failing classes on purpose. I'm just extremely lazy. Being a senior now, I just have senioritis, except in another level. I'm not failing classes just to get a few laughs from people; I ain't that retarded pffft. Education is one of my top priorities. It's just that there isn't anything that motivates me to continue my studies. I believe we should learn by real life interaction. Not by looking at some small pictures in books with a teacher reading out of it. I want to experience it. English? Tell us to act out vocabulary words or let us rap poems by Shakespeare. Math? Let us throw boomerangs or enlarge an object (Propz to Ms. Nagata, that was a cool project). Science? Let us go to a forest or garden to examine plants and photosynthesis; let us work with chemicals and create awesome reactions. Etc etc you get the point. If this was education, fuck, I'd be getting straight A's. Large textbooks read by teachers with monotonous voices and boring personalities? Straight F's. As much as I'd love to be having good grades, it's just become so much of a habit, that I can't even control it. No matter what, I will always find a way to distract myself. I'm trying to fix it, though. I definitely can't slack off during SMC.

There are plenty of other things I'd address, but I really don't feel like continuing.
The main point I'm trying to get at is that everyone has their own traits that you might not like. I may sometimes be a bitch, but overall I think I'm a pretty normal dude. Just livin' life, yo. I feel like I have this secret, bitch reputation amongst people. I'm just crazy when in large crowds. If you really want to see a different side of me, let's grab some grub and talk/Come on over to my place and chill or go balls out and jam to electro/go biking up and down beaches/ etc.

For those of you who might feel offended, I didn't mean none. I'm just fed up with people misinterpreting things and spreading bullshit to others. Do you really think you know who I am?

Compete Compete Compete

Compete, compete, compete
win, win win
no losing, no losing, no losing

With globalization and more and more countries cooperating with international events, competitions have now gone from domestic to global. It's seen in education, the economies, and now sports.
Just a few minutes ago, a good game of baseball between Japan and Korea ended, with the former winning.
Congratulations to Japan, your hard work paid off and you guys deserved it. Also, kudos to South Korea, you guys gave it all your best.
I haven't watched much of it, only tuned in here and there. Though the fans all looked similar, they were easily distinguishable by the colors they wore (Blue/White = Korea / Red = Japan). They slammed their drums, waved their flags, clapped their balloons together, and chanted cheers. It was pretty cool, the game was really exciting to watch.
I was pretty satisfied with it, but it was pretty funny and a bit annoying to see people online writing GOOOOOOOO JAPANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! or GOOOOOO KOREAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! and subtly badmouthing each other.
I know a lot of Asians, specifically Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and Taiwanese, and it gets kinda nasty whenever there are competitions between these countries. Whatever the outcome, there will always be insults flying here to there and their relationships get worse. There has been some historical events that caused the strained relationships, but I just wish people can forget about the past and look onto a better future.
It's always the same reaction, and it's starting to get very annoying. People who are very very patriotic don't respond well to losing, so they start out some "campaign" and start shittalking their opponents.
If you lose, you don't go on this world flubber and try to make your opponents, because in the end, you're only making yourself look worse.
If you lose, you deal with it, you learn from your mistakes, and you give them a bigger challenge the next time the opportunity comes. There is no need for racism.
Take a chill pill and take a deep breath.

I went on the computer and noticed that I had 6 new e-mails, one of which was from UC Santa Barbara. I wasn't that excited, since I thought I was going to get rejected, but surprisingly, I GOT ACCEPTED!
Dream's over.

I actually got rejected, but I'm not surprised nor do I feel bad.
But you know what, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I overreacted in my previous post. and dude I have like 60 more years of living, so there will always be other opportunities.

I have several options now,
one: to go to SMC, and maybe transfer
two: go with what my friend said, and move to new york with her.

For option two, it does sound somewhat cool, but I don't think I'm cut out yet to live by myself. I mean, I am going to be living with a friend, but with the economic recession right now, finding a job is going to be almost impossible, and I'm especially worried about my parents, since I was the one that helped them through their troubles.

Ach, I don't know. Still have lots of things running through my mind.

Future

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo fucked right now.
I just got rejected to UC Riverside, and from that I don't even think I need to check out my admission statuses for the other UC's I applied to. My backups were CSU Long Beach and San Diego State University, and I was rejected by both because I messed up on the application, and I was too late in revising it before the deadline.

I don't know what happened...
Actually, I do know what happened. I slacked off too much, and I put fun as my top priority. No one likes homework, but I hated it. Like fucking loathed it. I never did homework at home, rather in my classes like Mandarin class.

God, I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so disappointed in myself. I go through these phases almost every week. I slack off and I try to catch up on the last days. Every teacher that's had me said they knew I have the potential to get A's, and I saw that in me too, but I was just too darn fucking lazy. This has been going for 3 years straight (9th grade, I was serious about grades... 5 A's 1 C), and I think I've just become desensitized to the feeling of failure. Back then, when I got an F, I freaked. But now, when I get an F, I actually laugh it off, and don't feel even a tiny speck of disappointment.

I feel especially bad right now, because I knew I had the potential to get straight A's and even do beyond of what I was capable of doing.

I don't know what to tell my parents.. They'd dished out a ton of money for my education, and all I've brought to them is zilch.

I've never felt so bad in my whole entire life.

Words of wisdom/common sense: Do the work. Don't slack off. Think of your long-term future, instead of your short-term. There will always be times for fun; however, you only have one shot at education. Do well in high-school. If you mess up, there's no turning back. You're going to have to deal with it, and improve from thereon. But don't completely immerse yourself with work; find a way to balance work and social life. Just think. Think think think.

Mission Accomplished

BOND BOND BOND

BOND was the best.
At first, I didn't really want to go, because I went to Universal earlier the day and was supermondo tired. I got home at around 8pm and just ate dinner, rice included of course. After a while, I just thought about BOND and realized how awesome it would be. Intense hide-and-seek game with chasers driving. So I decided to go.

But then there was another problem: my parents. Due to the situation with my brother, my parents would never let me out of the house past curfew. They'd go nuclear-explosion status on me. I was brainstorming and thought of two choices: 1.) Say that I was going to the gym (Bally's) or 2.) Sneak out

I chose to sneak out. I told my parents I was going to sleep early, and I shoved some clothes and pillows under my blanket. It looked shapely realistic, and I wrote a small little note reading "Please do not disturb!" and taped it to the front of my door. At first, I thought it would do some reverse-psychology crap on my parents, but they would've still entered my room without the note, so it was better than nothing.

My parents were busy laughing and watching the tele in their room, so I slowly opened the door and snuck out. I felt crazy, but excited at the same time. Walked towards Woodbine and Glendon and met up with some people. Eva, Nicole, Francis, Mark, Lili and her brother etc etc yaddi yaddi yadda... Then I saw someone in the distance, and ran towards them only to collide with one of them. They were wearing complete black clothes, so I couldn't really see her. It was Maya. My apologies!

We had a small orientation, then we started and damn it was intense. I was so confidant to get to point B, but i got caught within the first few minutes. Like the first minute. Yeah. It was terrible, I was deadlocked between two chasers in an alley, and I found myself trying to crawl up the wall (WTF?). Yeah, then I just got in one of the chaser's car and drove around looking for shadows and voices. I didn't catch anyone. I was the scout, sitting in the trunk and looking out in the back. I wanted to catch someone, but you can't open trunks from the inside.

After it was finished, we met up at a truck loading zone and took some group pictures. There were a lot of people. Somewhere around the 50 range.

Then we started heading for phase 2: The Dark Railroad. This time it was much better. There were a lot more places to hide, but whenever I would see a car's headlights, I would dash for the one of the garages, but right when you get in, one of the automated porch lights come on... @#$%!

There was this one moment, when I saw a car behind not too far, and i just jumped into a bush. Literally jump. I crawled around, and I guess I made a lot of noise, because I saw a light turn on and someone moved the curtains around. I was right under the window. She stayed there for a whole minute. At first, it was pretty funny but afterwards it was kinda scary. I thought she was gonna stay there forever.

I ran my ass off and I made it. I made it WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I got to the endpoint.

It was amazing. I was really sore, I was bleeding in many places, my pajamas tore, and I was just tired and sleepy.

BOND was amazing, and everyone reading this should come with next time.

After all that, I got a ride from this guy named Dave (David?). He was cool, and got dropped off. I snuck back in, successfully. No sounds whatsoever. It was THE BEST SATURDAY EVER.

Everything turned out well. It was the best. I just laid there on my bed reminiscing of how it all went down and just said out loud "Mission fucking accomplished."