fuck.

sorry i haven't updated in a while
been busy with finals and having a life.

got ma new schedule today.. pretty cool with it, but i dont like having ap calc period 4... there just isnt the vibe to it that period 5 had. it was really dull, empty, and i didnt really know much people there.

im thinking about dropping ap calc... komatsu san said it was gonna be way harder, so if I passed with a D last semester, who's to say it won't happen again, but much worse? i cant afford to get another f, but i cant afford to drop out of another ap class (ive dropped out of ap us history, ap chemistry). either way theyll both look bad for the universities... fuckkkk.

i mean, im willing to study harder this time, but komatsu san said its going to take a great knowledge of what was taught last semester. so basically we went over the basics, but i didnt pay much attention. learning something without the basics is pretty much impossible, so i dont think i want to go through that much trouble, especially in my last semester in high school...

if i did drop out, then im going to have to go through all the troubles of sending letters to all the universities telling them about schedules changing and etc ughhhh so much fucking work today, goddamn!

why cant life just be fucking simple like it used to be... all the crap that's considered important for us to do all comes from money. learn, get good grades, get into good university, get a good paying job in the end and have a family and then make even more money losing all the fun in life for family buying unnecessray materials etc etc fuckin etc.

i just want to have a crazy, fun, unexpected life. not a dull, burdensome, repetitive one.

i would prefer going out into the environment and learning things naturally rather than being forced to wake up early going to a box consiting of smaller boxes where we subside and are given materials to learn.
i would prefer talking to people face to face and spending time with them instead of pressing a bunch of buttons electronically.
i would prefer to see more smiles than frowns
i would prefer to see parents spending more time with their family rather than at work
i would prefer a lot of things opposite of whats happening in the world today.

the world's heading into the wrong direction and it's all our fault.
fuck.