No Such Thing As A Perfect Life (Part 1)

Family relationship is an odd thing. We are born into a world where we instantaneously build a relationship with people who are in our family. It's difficult to explain, but we have some sort of spiritual connection. And usually, family relationships are in great condition. There would be the occasional arguments and fights, but that is simply a natural occurrence in families. Ironically, arguments and disagreements are what build family ties to become even stronger. Living a life where virtually everyone is alike and knowing would be all too boring.

However, sometimes these family relationships go bad. I love my parents with all my heart, and it pains me to know that they will be leaving my life one day. From how my dad described his past life, I'm grateful that he lived an entertaining and happy one, but the person in my family that I worry about the most is my mom. She's been through a lot, and on some other day, I'd write it here on this blog. But right now, the person whom you are so anxious to hear about is my bro, Sam.

Sam was born humbly and grew up in an almost destitute environment. My parents were both immigrants from South Korea, and all they brought were a few suitcases and $200 US dollars. They rented a very small studio and my dad got a job as a salesman at an across-the-street supermarket. My mom just stayed home doing the usual mom-to-do's (cleaning, etc.) and just for a fun fact, my mom ended up using all the $200 she had on buying chocolate. She told me she got super fat, hah.

Anyways, my brother was born and fortunately he turned out to be a great kid. He has been getting straight-A's from first grade (Never a B or lower), won a numerous amount of awards (He was one of the people that got the PSAT scholarship!), and boy were my parents proud.

When my brother was attending high school, my parents changed churches. Supposedly, this church had a much better pastor and services. If we haven't done this, our lives today would definitely be MUCH different.

While my parents attended service at least 3 times a week, my brother hung and played with his new friends. However, these friends of his were of the bad kind. My parents were surprised to see that he his grades have dropped significantly. And one day, my mom was completely shocked to find out that his son was suspended, then expelled from school. She was even more shocked to find out that my dad tried to cover this up and hide it from her (He told her on the days that my brother got suspended, that the school was having a break or holiday). Of course, she started becoming suspicious, but then she got a call. From the school. Things weren't so good then. Chaos, drama, suicide attempts. It was just bad.

Now what's my brother doing? He's in prison. It just sucks to know that I have a criminal in my family. He's been caught three times with possession of and dealing drugs, twice for violation of probation, and once for vandalizing private property. He's also banned from at least 3 night clubs, was in many physical fights (He came home SO many times bleeding and bruised.). And to top that all off, he even got fuckin shot. Twice, one in the lungs and the other, liver. It's a miracle that he lived (his friend who got shot with him died on the way to the hospital), and I'm glad that he's living.

But sometimes, I just wish that he didn't exist. He never really did anything to benefit our family. He's had to be bailed out of jail 5 times! My parents' lifetime savings (About $135,000-They were saving for a house) completely vanished not only because of the jail bonds, but because of his gambling addiction, too. Not only did their savings completely vanish, but they went into debt, and these debts were so uncontrollable, that my parents filed bankruptcy. No matter how much trouble and pain he brought upon himself and us, he never learned his lesson. He only learned to be more careful, but apparently that didn't work out too well for him.

I hate him.

By what he did, my parents felt like failures, and they experienced undeserving trouble and pain. And because of that, they are ever-more stricter on me. They worry that I might end up being like him. What they don't know is that I hate my brother enough to the point where I don't want to be or do anything like him. That's why I don't smoke weed (however, I do drink, only at parties heheh), I make sure before I officially become friends with someone... etc. I've learned a lot from his mistakes.

He said that he will change, and that he will live a different life once he is bailed out of his mandatory prison term of 2 years. But my parents and I have heard that all too many times before. My brother's a good liar, but hopefully he isn't lying on this one.